Have Your Way

I give up ,God, trying to fix my life, being angry at you, my dreams, not trusting you. I confess my pride, my control, my past, my idols, I give you my life and hand it to you. My life is so broken. Only you know the future. Only you will get me through. I'm heartbroken and I cry out to you, God. I surrender and... want you to have your way, not mine. I give you all that I am clinging to and realize that you will have your way with it all and my plan is nothing compared to yours. I'm ready to accept whatever that means, even if it means letting go of what I want the most, even though I don't want to.

Been thinking a lot today about my direction in life and where I've been....

I've lost sight of God's direction for my life.  I've been tossing and turning unable to decide what is going on. There are no goals, no direction, no plan that stands out to me.  My life has been consumed with pleasing others and following after what I want in my life and what I think I must have.  I've been chasing it and I'm exhausted.  I've been fixing things and picking up the pieces of the messes I've made and the messes others have made in my life.  It is one catastrophe after another.  I don't even know what God wants for my life anymore because I'm too busy fixing, fitting God's plan into mine, making sure everyone is pleased and things will go smoothly.  I don't want to fail.  I want control of my life and everyone and everything that happens in it.  I'm afraid that if I let go, that everything will come crashing down.  But, instead, my life has come crashing down and I've neglected to trust God with my life and everyone in it.  I have tried hard to trust him, but when it came down to it, I really didn't and have a hard time even now trusting him.  I'm scared to death.  I'm scared of the future, of my life now, of how things turned out.  So, what is God's plan for me?  What does he want me to do.  I've sinned by worrying and not trusting in him.  By relying on my own prideful self.  Obviously, my plan doesn't compare to God's at all.  I've treated another as a God.  I've spent life clinging, pleasing, relying, trusting, investing my time, thinking my life revolved around this person.  In doing so, I've neglected God and his place as #1 and I've not let the person in my life live their own life. Picking up the pieces of my OWN life now and taking responsibility for my OWN life is much more difficult to me. It feels very alone to me, but also freeing, knowing that I don't have to carry that burden and was never meant to.  I can make my own decisions and live my life the way that God wants me to live it and I don't have to make anyone fit into that plan.  I also don't have to pick up the pieces or take responsibility for what is not mine.  I am free to make choices and free to trust God with everyone and everything in my life.  There will be things beyond my control, there will be bad things in my life, there will be things that are not right, and that is ok.  I don't need to solve it.  I can decide what I want to do, but not take control of what others what to do and be ok with that.  I want to be happy, I want to be free, and I want to please God.  Sometimes I feel lonely and powerless, but that is because I'm losing focus that God is with me.

George Mueller's Strategy for Showing God :: Desiring God Christian Resource Library

George Mueller's Strategy for Showing God :: Desiring God Christian Resource Library

George Mueller was a prayer warrior and a great example to us all.

How to be Best Friends with your Spouse

  This is a helpful article.

Serenity

When I'm feeling helpless, fearful, and anxious, I can find serenity in God's promises.

I went to see Nick Vujicic!

Wow, was Nick's story inspiring!  He truely has a message of hope and purpose!  God's hope and purpose. I wanted to write the things that struck me most about his message and some verses and articles from his website.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The Goal of God's Love

• Find Peace
• Passion for God
• Facing Giants
• I love this:  What you and God can do
• Nick's Testimony

Here are some things that I remember from his speaking:

• Trust God with everything in your life.
• Don't believe lies, but believe the truths of God and how he sees us.
• Place our joy and happiness in God.  If we expect happiness from anything or anyone other than God, we will be let down.
• See your blessings and what you have, rather than what you don't have.
• Focus on God and who he is.
• Be in love with God and really worship Him
• Pray about everything and depend on God, instead of having fear and worry 
• We are works in progress and under construction.  Christians are not perfect and we will have ups and downs.

Deliverance

I was really blessed today while reading  The Power of Praying Through the Bible.  I just wanted to blog some notes from the chapter on Deliverance.  We need deliverance and Jesus paid the price for us when he died on the cross.  God wants us to be free from anything that seperates us from Him.  We can so often feel trapped and controlled by unhealthy relationships, resentment, struggles, sin, discouragement, depression, and so on.

Psalm 50:15 (New International Version)

15 and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."


How we can find deliverance:

• Pray-Psalm 72:12 (NIV) For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help.
• Have someone pray for you- Psalm 34:17 (NIV) The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
• Read the Bible-John 8:32 (New International Version) Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
• Spend time praising and worshiping God and being with Him

Life is a process and so is deliverance. We aren't perfect, so we need help daily from the Lord.

Judges 3:9, 15(NIV)

 But when they cried out to the LORD, he raised up for them a deliverer, Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother, who saved them.  15 Again the Israelites cried out to the LORD, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab.

Matthew 6:13 (New International Version)

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Expectations

So often I set expectations way beyond my reach or other's reach.  Life is not in my control and neither is anyone else.  I am responsible for me and how I feel, my behaviors, my thoughts, and so on.  I often expect way too much of others and want to control and have expectations over their behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. Sometimes these expectations are intentional, and other times they are not.  Every person is an individual  and is responsible for their own behaviors, thoughts and feelings.  I'm not responsible for them and I can't possibly know what is best for them.  That is quite self-righteous of me to even begin to think that I know best for someone else.  I need to stop expecting what I think is right and start accepting others for who they are.  Then I won't be disappointed or unsettled and I won't be smothering or putting pressure on others.  I must focus on my own self and the many improvements that God is trying to show me in my own life.

Being Vulnerable

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.… The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers … of love is Hell."  C.S. Lewis

Trust is believing, upholding, and supporting.  Sometimes it is a risk.  We can't control a person into being trustworthy, they will show it through their actions and honesty.  God is the only person that can be trusted fully.  We are to put our trust in him, not in men. 

Running Away...or Running the Race

I run away literally when my problems get difficult.  I get in my car and drive around or I get away from the problem or person in another way.  I never run away forever, but remove myself for a bit from the situation.  Sometimes, I'd like to just run away from life altogether and just start life over.  It seems easier to run away from problems and try to avoid than to deal with them. I know that I can't do this, but it does seem tempting to quit things and just run away from them when my situation seems too overwhelming. Starting new would still bring my troubles with me, and probably add more, as I would have caused problems by avoiding.  Starting over wouldn't have changed my attitude, my discipline, my walk with God, my perception on life.  There are times that I feel stuck in my relationships and circumstances and don't know what to do.  I want better for myself and those around me.  I try to control my situation the best I can, but these efforts end up making things more difficult in my life.  Ultimately I'm not in control.

Genesis 16:7-9 (New International Version)

7 The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 8 And he said, "Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?"
"I'm running away from my mistress Sarai," she answered.
9 Then the angel of the LORD told her, "Go back to your mistress and submit to her."

God is the only one in control of my situation.  Instead of trying to run away or solve my problems myself, I need to turn to God and give him my pain, emotions, and situation.  He wants to help me.  He wants me to have hope.  It is best to realize that I need to face my problems, realize that my life is unmanageable, and that God is the only one that has the help and fulfillment that I need.  This world is full of hardship, and it won't go away, just by changing situations.  Instead of running away, I need to run the race that has a clear path.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (New International Version)
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Wow, this verse is so amazing!  I was praying about my life and my issues in this area, and God led me to both of these verses within 5 minutes of each other.  It is amazing how clear God's path is for all of us and how he truely wants to help us.